I’ve been working on this post for a while now. I was hesitant to post it because I felt like it’d be a little too whiny, or a little too pat myself on the back, or look at me look at me. I also realize that if I didn’t feel comfortable posting something that was inherently me on my little space of the internet, then it wasn’t really my little space of the internet.
I’ve eaten Ethiopian food in Ethiopia. When I went skydiving for the first time my instructor was unnerved with how calm I was. I put myself through university – taking full-time course loads coupled with three to four part-time jobs at any given time throughout my bachelor’s degree. I have some cool stuff going for me. I’ve had accomplishments.
I’ve also laid awake in bed at 2 in the morning, paralyzed with anxiety over a social faux pas I committed years ago (that no one but myself probably remembers). I walk into inanimate objects when I’m not paying attention and absent-mindedly apologize to them. I routinely bite off more than I can chew because I want to do so many more things than I actually have time for – no matter how well I manage my time or how detailed my to-do list is. I have faults. I’ve failed at things.
Why am I bringing up these points? It doesn’t matter how much we excel at some things, and it doesn’t matter how much we feel at odds with the world. It’s never all of one or the other, but a combination of the two that make us who we are. The good and the bad. Whatever comprises of these facets of ourselves, we all deal with our equal share of success and disappointments. Sometimes things feel a little lopsided and overwhelming. I’m currently smack in the middle of one of those times.
A few months ago I discovered the most perfect MBA program for me. It combined the area I currently work in, with the industry that I’m most passionate about. I mean an MBA in Fashion Media that’s based in Paris and Shanghai? Swoon! Then I noticed the deadline for the program was a week away. Despite the time crunch, I managed to gather all the materials, write up my cover letters, and submit my application. I was a nervous wreck waiting to hear back from the school, I was a nervous wreck when I took the placement test, and despite owning the phone interview – was still a nervous wreck. Until I got my acceptance letter last month.
The kicker, the school doesn’t have a US federal school code, so there was no way for me to use my financial aid from FAFSA for tuition. There was no time to apply to scholarships (that were both open to graduate programs AND able to be used overseas) as their deadlines were past the payment due date. I was even open to personal student loans from banks – of which they were happy to provide me, if the program had been a domestic one located in the States. I wouldn’t be able to go. Paris was not going to happen. I was pretty devastated.
Remind Yourself That This Is Only Temporary
As upset as I was, I had to remind myself that I’d been this upset before and had managed to get through it. Things always seem worse than they are in the immediate aftermath, I mean hindsight has a way of adding clarity and gives you time to disengage from the direct disappointment. Making the best out of what’s available to you, and just keeping (or trying to keep) a positive outlook makes the world of difference.
Make A List Of Things Your Proud Of Yourself For
For me the fastest way for me to remind myself that everything isn’t sucking just because one thing didn’t work out, is to remember all of the good things going on. I’ve got a job, great friends, an awesome family that’s supportive and get’s along, a roof over my head, food in my fridge. Right now, I’m really happy with the progress I’ve made blogging over the past few months. I feel like I’ve finally found my voice, that my writing reflects me as a person. While I still feel like I have a lot more things I could improve on, I’ve come a long ways since my first few posts.
Document Your Effort, Not Just Your Progress
Sometimes it’s really easy to get lost in the quest things, that it’s just as easy to get discouraged by not seeing immediate results. Especially since a lot of things take a while to become habit. Tracking what steps you take allows you to see your efforts as accomplishments themselves – doing 5 pushups every day might not make you lose a bunch of weight overnight, but it shouldn’t detract from the overall value – it’s still something to be proud of.
I may not be able to come up with tuition overnight, but even putting $25 dollars from each paycheck will get me closer and closer to being able to afford the program in the future.
Create New (SMART) Goals, Give Yourself Something To Work Towards
There are all kinds of goals: short-term, long-term, tangible, intangible, vague, specific… I remember when I hit middle school, teachers were all about making SMART goals, which stood for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely. If you set out on a goal that isn’t possible, you’ll just set yourself up for failure. By all means, you should follow your dreams no matter what – but sitting down and figuring out what steps it will take to get you there and setting goals around those steps… will make it much more likely for you to reach the end goal. If you goal is to increase readership in your blog, don’t just start blindly posting more – look at how you’re promoting your current content, see which of your posts are getting the most views to see what your current readers like, make specific goals and track your efforts and progress – making adjustments as needed.
While I can’t yet share the goals I’ve just set for myself as I’m still working out all the finer details and sub-goals of them, I can say they are related to the blog, and that I’m working on something special for my blogiversary this September. I’m really excited, a little scared, and a little anxious about it. But it’ll give me a fun challenge to excel at.
I will have more accomplishments, I will have more faults. Failing at something, or not being able to take advantage of an opportunity doesn’t negate the good things in life. I’m probably in the minority, but I don’t think things happen for a reason. I know a lot of people get comfort from thinking that things do – and I’m in no way trying to devalue or dispute that. I just feel comforted by thinking that sometimes things just happen. Putting it bluntly, that shit happens. Bad things happen to good people, bad things happen to bad people. What sets us apart is how we react to these things. I try to take things mostly in stride with a chin up mentality (or as my mom likes to put it: “Shoulders back, tits up,” something about good posture and keeping confidence), sometimes I can’t, but I give myself credit for the effort.
Normal broadcast of makeup, skincare, and beauty topics to resume shortly. Please stay tuned.
What do you guys do to encourage or remotivate yourself?
♡Em
